There’s things that I feel like I’ve put aside, gentle brushed into a corner because looking at them reminds me of you.

There are some memories of you that bring joy that I walk towards, cars, motorcycles, chocolate, stepping in water, the sunsets, the beauty in nature.

Music still makes me cry music and art, perhaps it’s because that’s where your soul lived, that’s the part of you I wish I knew better. I look back all these years and still can wonder what my world would be like if you hadn’t died.

I wonder if everyone does this when…


Grief is something we will all go through on some level in our lifetime, some will experience more grief then others; if we are lucky and love many people in our life and live a long time, which is generally the goal, then the amount we grieve will be great.

But yet what do we get taught about grief/ grieving?

In my work as a grief counselor much of what I am doing is:

One, normalizing grief. And two, clarifying misconceptions about grief.

If we look at our overall education on grief — I’m sorry to say it is highly…


I started my relationship with grief and loss with the death of my father who suicided in June 2008; I now work as a grief counselor.

I use the word dead in here quite a bit, which may feel heavy but death is, suicide is and making it seem less heavy actually feels often like the pain/grief you are feeling is too much and it must be minimized or made to look/feel lighter.

This feels both hard for the person grieving and also in some ways dishonest to the person who died; death can be awful and violent but it…

Maja Futrell-Frühling

Therapeutic counsellor, Traumatic loss group facilitator, survivor of suicide loss and silver lining finder. www.settlingstepscounselling.com

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